The Picture in My Head

Some people are very visual people. You say something, they picture it in their head. My dear friend ED is like that. Unfortunately for her, I tell her horrible things about people, forcing her to endure mental trauma. I send her Tenacious D songs with lyrics regarding scrotums (perhaps I should've sent her this Monty Python song about the whole schlong). And in more bad news, we are surrounded by a lot who likes to share intimate details of their lives...their intimate lives.

Seeing her suffer today made me really think about her condition. I am one, luckily, who doesn't immediately visualize what another says to me. Except, there is one saying that has always plagued me with visualization. In southeast Kentucky, when a baby looks like someone else, for example, if the baby looks like its dad, they say, "He looks just like he crawled out of Luke's asshole." Why? Why would you ever say that about a precious little baby? Why can't you just say, "He looks like his daddy." Why do you have to paint this image of a baby tearing out of somebody's butt. Isn't the true birthing story bad enough? People, I may say "Finer than a frog's hair split seven ways." I may say, "Lord willing and the creek don't rise." Hell, I might even say, "Colder than a well digger's ass." But you will never hear me say that a baby looks like it crawled out of somebody's rump.

That is all.



Wow. The content of this blog just keeps getting weirder.