The Voice

This morning I drove Doug's car to work (because my car was on empty and he was going to fill it up--isn't he sweet?).

I leave the house pretty early, so it is dark outside. I am a weenie, we all know that. I always have this fear that some creature is going to jump out of the darkness and grab me. I tend to move with the quickness getting into the car. This morning as I approached the garage, I heard a man talking. What? Is? That? I looked around to see if I could spot any dudes lurking around...nothing. As I got closer to the garage, the voice grew louder.

"Bruce Pearl should sue! I like Bruce Pearl, but even if I didn't, I'd still say he should sue the NCAA. They're liars. They've lied so much that their rules are obsolete!"

The voice belonged to Mike Greenberg. Stepping into the empty garage filled with Greeny's voice, the atmosphere was totally creepy. It was like a scene from a scary movie. You know the types...the zombie apocalypse has come, and a group of dudes go into an abandoned home to see if there are any signs of life. Everything is desolate. All you hear is some creepy old record playing on repeat.

There I was. Alone. In the dark. Listening to Greeny repeatedly scream about Bruce Pearl. Frightening.

To make matters worse, it was raining outside. You know what I think of when it is dark, rainy, and I am scared? Dadblamed Unsolved Mysteries. I tell you, I can vividly see that episode now, with that creeper who looked like the Undertaker, standing in the rain, just waiting for that perfect moment to bust into some innocent broad's house to slit her throat. I can hear Robert Stack clear as a bell, "Join me. Perhaps you will be able to help solve a mystery." Uh, no thanks, Mr. Stack. I'm cool. I ain't about to go looking for the Undertaker.

Ugh. Doug needs to put up some flood lights or something. Maybe someday I'll be brave.