Down in My Back

Being a Mother is such a beautiful thing, but, man does it exhaust a woman. Those little firecrackers of mine wear me out--physically and mentally. I am currently laying in bed with a heating pad. My poor ole back hasn't been the same since I had to haul those two around for nine months. (When they are older, this will be great material for a nice guilt trip.) Of course, running around on all fours, chasing after them and roaring doesn't help my back either. Oh well, we have fun, even if I do pay for it later.

Here is a question for all of you parents out there (or non-parents for that matter): Am I the only one who plays out horrific scenarios in my mind when I hear or do not hear a noise from another room when I am the only person (adult) in the house?

Examples: When I am home with my boys and they begin to play cars or read books or watch Daniel Tiger or otherwise amuse themselves, I sneak off to the kitchen to clean. I will be in there loading the dishwasher when all of a sudden...

I hear a shriek. Now, in the 5 seconds it takes me to open the baby gate and get to the living room to the children, in my mind, Julian/Jonas are screaming in pain, lying on the floor with a broken arm, and I am going to have to somehow pull myself together to take the injured to the hospital. "What will I do if there's blood? What if I pass out and they are hurt and all alone? I'm going to throw up!!!!!!!!"

Finally, I reach the living room. Julian was the shrieker.  The issue: His brother had a big plastic spoon and he didn't. The horror! The horror!

OR

I hear nothing. "It is awfully quiet in there. I better go check on them!" And in the 5 seconds it takes me to get to them, I've already envisioned some bastard breaking into my home and trying to steal my babies. Whereupon, I reach for the closest weapon available, which just so happens to be one of Doug's enormous flashlights. And then I beat the tar out of that dude and rescue my children. Mama Bear will destroy you, punk!

Finally, I reach the living room. Julian is laying on the couch watching Curious George, and The Bear is reading.