Intruder Alert! Intruder Alert!

I want you guys to know, that if an intruder comes into our home and tries to murder me, Douglas will sleep through it. He always claims that I would do such a thing, but this morning, I was attacked (by a spider) and screamed bloody murder. Do you think there was the slightest inquery about my blood curdling screech? Not one. He was upstairs all cozy and warm, under the electric blanket, snuggling with the cats, while I was nearly killed! I have a bruise on my finger from hitting the tip of it on the chest of drawers as I tried to demolish Charlotte's freaking web! It hurts. Oh the pain! I could be dead! It could have killed me! No one cares. Not even a cat; they were probably all too busy snuggling Sleeping Beauty.

NOTE: Oh have mercy! I tried to google an image of the spider who attacked me, but nearly passed out at the images that popped up on google. I'm going to be having nightmares for the rest of my life. I uploaded a picture more appropriately matched with my spider-image tolerance (only because Wilbur is so darn cute).