Jonas the Messy Eater

Egg Face Jonas

When you have babies, people are always warning you about dirty diapers, sleepless nights, binky dependency. No one ever tells you what a pain it is to feed children. Most people even think it is fun! I used to be one of those people.

They used to open their mouths. Now they have stone lips. They used to sit still. Now they thrash around in their chairs, prop their ole feet up on the trays, and smack their dear mother's hands (and thereby spoonful of food) away from their mouths. Why won't they eat? They are trying to kill me.

Since they are now big boys, they eat "snacks." Gerber makes little puff treats that are basically cereal that melts in your mouth. And since the boys have no teeth, this is an ideal snack. I'll put a few puffers (that's what we call them) on their tray and let them snack while I go about getting their main course prepared. Fast forward a few minutes and I'm feeding the dudes. They take a few bites and begin to squirm. Shortly thereafter, their little hands will disappear as they dig around in their seats. Voila! Jonas pulls out his hand and a long lost puffer is revealed. And shoved directly into his mouth. Now, I know that these high chairs are clean, and that I vacate all "lost puffers" from the premises immediately after each meal, but this fishing around in the crevices of seats for snacks ordeal still makes me a little ill. If they pull this stunt at a restaurant, I will simply die. "Get used to it. They're boys." I know. I know.

Oh, and one last thing about feeding babies--the following chain of events really really sucks: opening a jar of chicken noodle puree (that stuff staaaanks to high heaven); feeding a heaping spoonful to baby; baby sneezes; chicken noodle sprays everywhere; baby wipes mouth thereby getting chicken noodle on hands; baby wipes all over face and hair with chicken noodle covered hand. Now baby has this hairdo.

Styling product? Chicken noodle!

For the record, Julian is just as messy.