Sometimes when I rock the babies to sleep, I also go to sleep.
We have a camera in the nursery. It has night-vision, so we can even check in on them when they're supposed to be snoozing. Julian has 2 bed buddies: Simba and Possum. Sometimes, I forget about Possum. I check in on Jules to see how he's doing, and OH MY GOD! THERE IS A GIANT RAT IN HIS CUBE!!!! Oh wait, it's just ole poss.
Have you ever had to call UPS to check on a package? Thank your lucky stars if you have never had to do it. If you have, or if you have called any customer service number with a robot operator, then, my friend, you have experienced true aggravation at its zenith.
What's the situation? You want to know where the heck your package is and why it has yet to be delivered? Just call customer service and solve your problem!
"Thank you for calling UPS," says the robot, before she gives you a list of 900 options to choose from and SAY whichever satisfies your needs.
"Track a package," you say.
"I'm sorry. Did you say, 'Find a location?'"
Slowly now, "T-r-a-c-k a p-a-c-k-a-g-e."
"I'm sorry. Did you say, 'Get rates and transit times?'"
Starting to get annoyed now, "TRACK A PACKAGE!"
"I'm sorry. Did you say..."
Now you just lose it, "DON'T EVEN FREAKING SAY IT, LADY. I SAID, 'TRACK A [EXPLETIVE DELETED] [EXPLETIVE DELETED] PACKAGE [EXPLETIVE DELETED]!!!! I HATE YOUR [EXPLETIVE DELETED] GUTS. YOU STUPID [EXPLETIVE DELETED] [EXPLETIVE DELETED] ROBOT WOMAN!"
They should have boxers and UFC fighters call UPS before letting them loose in the ring. Let 'em get good and angry at Robot Woman, and then go take out all of that pent up frustration on their opponent. They'll win the match every time. "TRACK A PACKAGE! I'LL RIP YOUR HEAD OFF!"
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