I Never Thought...

I never thought a hotdog could make me sad, but today, it did. The lunch ladies took the joy out of hotdogs, friends. Everyone knows hotdogs are my favorite. I could eat them daily. But this, this showing was just pathetic. I go down to the lunchroom, all excited for dogs, skip over the salad bar (because who wants weeds for lunch), and make a beeline for the hotdogs. I opened the vat to serve myself a weenie, and children, the lunch ladies might as well had come over and ripped my heart out with their bare hands (they could probably do it, too). I have never been so depressed in my life. Wieners were falling apart in the nasty hotdog water. I still tried it, though. Oh, disappointment. The hotdog was mushy. You didn't even have to chew. It dissolved in your mouth. I just gagged thinking about it. Seriously. Mere words cannot express the sickness and the sadness.

I think I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from the bat episode, even though I didn't really experience it, just slept through it. I keep hearing chirping. I know it's the birds outside, but what if it's another bat, in here!!! And Doogie is in class. Oh good grief, I would just die if that were to happen!

This just in from Dwarf: Beetle has a cellphone!