Return of the Jedi

Check out Jonas putting out the vibe.

I've been away for awhile, but I'm back. I've mostly been sleeping, eating ice cream, punching Doug, catching up on Game of Thrones...you know, the normal stuff people do after the kids go to bed and you have that tiny but wonderful window of free time.

Some things:

I went to Wal-Mart the other day and I was reminded of two things: 1. I hate Wal-Mart. 2. I hate teenagers.

By now, everyone knows I'm pregnant, right? Well, I've been having some wild pregnancy dreams. You ask, "Allison, how can your dreams get any weirder?" I don't know, but somehow they have. Examples:

• I dreamed I was pregnant with twins. Only, one twin was a giant hershey bar.
• I dreamed that I forgot Doug's birthday and in retaliation, he kicked me and the boys out of our home. He also somehow got me fired from my job. I was an unemployed, homeless, single mother of two. I got into a fight with this homeless broad who wanted one of my babies. "You have two! Don't be selfish! Give me one of those babies!" For the record, that hag went down! And I woke up madder than hell.
• I dreamed that Lorelei Gilmore was my sister, and she had written a hit song and I was to perform this song with her, only I did not know the words. She said, "When it's your turn to sing, you'll know the words, just belt it out. We make $3 every time we sing it." Three whole dollars!
• I dreamed that my Grandma and I had entered a crafting competition and our first event was to design a koala out of cheerios.

I could go on and on, but it only gets worse. I blame the hormones, and maybe the ice cream right before bed.

Do you remember that show where they stuck hidden cameras in people's cars and recorded them singing to

the radio? I think it was on VH1. I was thinking of this show as I drove home from work. If there was a camera in my car and folks were watching and listening to me sing--the horror! the horror! Cruising down 71 in my red station wagon, sporting my Ferris Bueller Raybans, sipping on grape flavored water, grooving and singing to the Reverend Al Green's Let's Stay Together. Folks, I got soul. You should hear me hit those notes, it's like you're riding in the car with Al himself! "Loving you whether times are good or bad, happy or saaad!"

As if this post couldn't get any more random, I am leaving you with this ode.

When they first began to bond.

Ode to Flash Gordon Gastright 

We adopted you when

You were just a tiny cat.

You stole hearts of men,

You killed a disgusting bat.

You're no longer the baby,

You have 2 human brothers.

Julian loves you the most,

His love hurts you, maybe?

His hug probably smothers--

You never whimper, only boast. 

O, Flash Gordon Gastright!

You take torture like a champ.

Your love for Jules is out of sight!

Maybe it's not an entire ode, I'm not John Keats, people. Anyway, you get the point. In the past few days, I have seen Flash Gordon get his tail pulled, get run over by a toddler on a Batmobile, and get smothered with hugs and kisses. Never has that poor cat run away or hissed or done anything but snuggle right back! Why, even when Julian is not around him, Flash will seek him out, crawl up on the couch and sit next to him. What a kitty!