Marc and Doug



Marc and Softie, Xmas 2008

 Douglas, Carol, Marc, and I went for a nice dip in the pool this afternoon. During our swim, I asked Marc what he would like for his birthday (he'll be 6 in September). He mentioned that he would dig some Legos and some kind of Godzilla action figure, he told me the specifics but it went in one ear and out the other as soon as he said it. Anyway, Doug was trying to teach the kid how to shoot a basketball (there's a hoop in the pool), and he was cooperative after a little bit of encouragement. At first, Marc proclaimed, "I'm horrible at basketball!" But Uncle Doug told him that wasn't the case, so the boys played ball a bit. So, Doug continued the birthday present conversation with this:

Doug: What about a Nerf basketball hoop for your room?
Marc: No thank you. But I was thinking about a little TV with a remote.

Maybe he can watch some basketball?

That kid is a riot!

Buffalo Bill

Just got home from a 5-hour shopping/having dinner trip with Doug's Aunt Jovita. We had a good time, but boy am I wiped out! I was just anticipating a couple of hours, but time flies when you're having fun. I, of course, took this opportunity to do a little Christmas shopping. Kathy, Boomer, Beetle, and Carolyn now have presents! I am going to have to stop or I won't have anything left to get in December! 

Oh, and on my ride home, I was completely creeped out. Cruising by myself, that is, alone in Betty Blue, in the dark, with the radio blasting. Guess what comes on the radio? That's right, Tom Petty's, "American Girl." So, I crank it and start to sing it out, and then this eerie feeling comes over me. Deja vu. It seems as if this same scenario has played out before and had a terrible ending. And then, it hit me! BUFFALO BILL! Catherine Martin was driving alone, in the dark, blasting and singing "American Girl" just before Buffalo Bill kidnapped her and took her to his creepy ass basement and threw her down in the hole and told her "It puts the lotion on its skin." So, naturally, I ran from the garage to the side door of the house as quickly as I could. I saw BB's image staring out at me from the empty foreclosed house next door. Oh, God, why can't I open this damn door faster! Finally, I made it in the house and my kittens were there to greet me. BB was only in my head. I was safe at home. Flashy the bat slayer would protect me.

Speaking of kittens, last night I had a dream that Bori Cat was a human. I dreamed that Doug found him abandoned in an apartment, just like in reality, except this time he was a little blonde hair and blue eyed baby boy. Also in this dream, Marla (aka Mike Walls) made an appearance. He was in a hardcore metal band and they were playing a gig at a pool in Cincinnati. Oh, and this pool where Marla was playing also had a gift shop. I left human BC out in the pool under the supervision of the heavy metal band (hope this isn't an indication of how my parenting will be), and went to look for a chicken whatnot for my mother for Christmas. I found a little chicken and it cost $5.00, so I decided that was a decent price for a wooden chicken and bought it. I remember removing my notebook from my purse and checking Mom off of my Christmas list. Then, I woke up. Talk about goofy dreams!

Well, I finally got my family stories typed up and sent into my professor. I sure hope she thinks they are as hilarious as I do! I had a fun time collecting them, and hope more come my way. I'll end this blog with one of these tales. Hope you get a kick out of it.

William Cornett Arrives in Kentucky

Before moving to the hamlet of Dwarf, the Cornetts were settled in Sassafrass in Leatherwood, Kentucky. William Cornett, the first Cornett in the lineage of Cornetts who eventually settled in Dwarf, first came to Kentucky in the late 1790s. The Cornetts may look like a scrappy bunch, but one thing’s for certain, they love to eat. So, it is not surprising that the reason this Revolutionary War veteran ventured out of his hometown in Henrico County, Virginia to Kentucky was to hunt for food! He had heard tell of plentiful game in the region, so he recruited his friend, Gideon Ison, to come along and the men headed for Kentucky.

Now, around this time, Kentucky went by another name, “Kaintuck,” which, if you know your J.R. Cash, you know Kaintuck was referred to by Native Americans as the “dark and bloody ground.” Perhaps William and Gideon weren’t aware of this fact, or perhaps they simply thought the benefits of fresh game in their belly outweighed the risk of being scalped. At any rate, after four or so days of travel, the men ended up at the mouth of Beech Fork on Big Leatherwood in Perry County Kentucky.

Once they had assembled their camp site, William decided to cut down a beech tree. His plan was to return within the next few months to see if the tree seasoned, and if it had, this would indicate that the seasons and growing patterns in Kentucky were similar to Virginia. Thus, he would be able to grow the same types of crops here if he was to relocate his family, which he ultimately did.

The next day was full of hunting and exploring. The men decided that in order to cover more ground, they should split up, so they headed out in opposite directions. It wasn’t long until Gideon happened across a camp site where a fire had recently been burning—it was a Native American campground. Gideon Ison turned right around and high-tailed it back to camp. Once he arrived safely back to camp, Gideon was faced with a dilemma: wait for William or hit the trail back to Virginia; he decided to give William until dark to make it back.


It was practically dark and still no sign of William. Gideon hopped on his horse and started of for home, when he saw his friend walking toward camp. He got down off his horse and greete William with an embrace, “Where have you been?” Gideon asked. “I’ve been getting supper,” William replied, as he lay down the deer he had killed, “What’s gotten into you, Gid? Where were you headed on your horse?” Gideon had to confess to his friend that he was fixing to take off for home. He described the campground he had come across and told William that he thought for sure the Indians had already scalped him! To which William replied, “Damns to hell if I didn’t see one’s head stuck over a log today! I walked by as if I didn’t see him, and when I got far enough away, I took off running! I looked back to see if he followed me, but all I saw was him running full speed in the other direction!”


Not wanting to stick around to see if the feller William had come across had gone back to get friends, the men decided they would load up camp that night and head on back to Virginia before their blood was on the ground of Kaintuck.


William eventually made his way back to Kentucky (no one knows if he ever checked to see if the beech tree he cut down on his previous trip had seasoned) and permanently took up residence in Sassafrass Hollow. The Cornetts lived there for four generations (William Jesse + Rhoda Gilliam [and after Rhoda’s passing, and with her final last words being of encouragement to do so, William married Mary Everage]; John + Rachel Smith; Robert + Adeline Brashear; and Manton + Julia Godsey). The custom at the time was that the youngest son of the family would inherit the homestead in return for caring for the old. George Washington Cornett, son of Manton and Julia, was not the youngest child, so decided to leave Sassafrass Hollow and settle elsewhere when it was time for him to take a wife and leave the family homestead. George Washington married Isabelle Ritchie and established a homestead in Dwarf, Kentucky. Since George W.’s big move, the Cornetts have resided in Dwarf for four generations and counting.

The End

P.S. After researching my family tree, I found that I am related to George Washington Cornett, Jefferson Davis Taulbee, and Andrew Jackson Taulbee!

Take Me Home Country Roads

When I was little, I had a poster of Travis Ford on my wall with a caption that read, "Take Me Home Country Roads." I thought this was awesome because not only did I have an undying love for Travis Ford, I also thought that was a pretty spectacular song.

A decade+ later, I still think both the song and Travis rule!

Squirrel Head

Well, children, I sweated my butt off all for the love of Mommaw! Got her a nice little Johnny Gomes bobblehead on Saturday when the Redlegs defeated the Braves, 11-2. Whoop! Whoop! I hope she loves him as much as her Votto and Arroyo bobbleheads. She is getting quite the collection!

Too bad I left the game before all the fun started. You know this ole gal doesn't take well to extreme heat. Yes, I am a wimp. However, I met up with the gals afterward to chow down on some yummy Indian cuisine. What a lovely Saturday night!

Christmas Shopping in July

Congratulations to me and my already impressive start on Christmas shopping. If Christmas was tomorrow (oh, how I wish it was so), I would have Christmas presents for 7 folks on my list! I am cooking with butta, children. Oh yeah.

Question: Is Sammy Davis, Jr. a Jew?

Answer: Yes, I just verified with a reputable source (Wikipedia).
Why am I asking: Well, this morning on the way to work, I was listening to The Rat Pack Christmas album, and he's on there wishing me a Merry Christmas, but I got to thinking, shouldn't he be on record with Adam Sandler singing about Hanukkah? That would be cool, as both Adam Sandler and Sammy Davis, Jr. are totally awesome.
Little factoid: Sammy Davis, Jr. was a fan of soap operas. Because he was suave, he landed a cameo on General Hospital and a recurring role on One Life to Live.

Back to Christmas...we will be traveling to Philly this year for our yuletide festivities. I was thinking this morning on the way into work of how epic it will be to take this Christmas journey, this 9-hour drive, and listen to nothing but Christmas music the whole way! Oh, and we can share our fondest Christmas memories. Doogie is going to be so excited! The only downside to Christmas in Philly is that I won't be able to have my ugly Christmas sweater and Chinese take-out Christmas extravaganza (maybe I could just have that earlier). Poor ole Doug Bear never gets to spend Christmas with his family. This will be fun!

And lastly, I want to end with this cheerful note: Sweaters have arrived at your local Target!

Good or Bad?

I want to buy a pressure cooker and attempt to can homemade strawberry jelly. Will I survive? Will my jelly be as good as Beetle's? Good idea or bad idea?

I have had The Boss's, "Born to Run" stuck in my head for at least 3 weeks.

Eating more than 1 fiber bar per day.

Having to ask yourself, "Why is my hair wet?" Then realizing that it is wet because you have been sweating profusely due to the extreme heat!

Flashy kneading my arm and tummy. It's cute, but sometimes it feels like little rocks jabbing me!

Lunchlady Land

Well, the lunchladies at work can really eff up a hotdog, but their chicken salad is. In the words of OG, "scrumpdelicious!" We shall see if my attempt is as good as theirs.

RECIPE:
Chicken (really? Duh!)
Dill
1/2 mayo
1/2 ranch
Celery
Pecans (p.s. Pecans are pricey this day & age, children!)

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Get a load of this shut yo mouth!

Yes, he really has this contraption for his racing game in our living room. It's like our house is freaking Gattitown.

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I Miss My Mommaw

Well, I've been gone from Dwarf for almost 12 hours and I miss my Mommaw terribly. I had such a wonderful time with her. I'm about to cry just thinking of her sitting in her recliner, working on crafts, watching The Reds all by her lonesome. [Note: I just checked the score of the ballgame; I bet Beetle is NOT a happy camper.]

We had a blast this weekend. Started the homecoming off last Friday with Codar and I arriving in D-town to see Mommaw, Aunt Kathy, Austin, and Bob all at Beetle's crib. They were hanging out and getting ready for the family reunion on Saturday morning. Aunt Kathy made broccoli casserole and sweet potato casserole and Mommaw made potato salad. Austin and I just sat there and goofed off and broke beans (oh, and let's not forget him neglecting to tell me that there was a pot of Beetle's famous soup on the stove).

The next morning, Uncle Anthony arrived, and I woke up to the lovely scent of fresh beans a cookin'. Oh Lord, children, I ate like a queen when I was in Dwarf (to be discussed further along in blog). We made the deviled eggs, just like the Cornetts love them--heavy on the mustard! Then, Austin and I went to meet and greet DeAndre Liggins while the rest of the crew headed on down to Homeplace. The family reunion was groovy. I stuffed my face and also won a prize!!! When my name was called and I walked over the prize table, I chose a little owl made by Beetle as my winnings. It is killer.

Sunday, well, you know what happened Sunday. RIP, Barksy. :(

The week went by so quickly! Every morning, Beetle and I would have our breakfast (since Boomer doesn't read this I can tell you that Beetle usually had a cup of coffee and 2-3 cookies...I usually had Honey Nut Cheerios). After breakfast, we'd watch her shows: Judge Joe Brown, Family Feud, The Price is Right, Steve Wilkos, the Young and the Restless, and the Bold and the Beautiful. Man alive, Mommaw is hilarious when watching tv. She yells at the contestants on the game shows, "Them people are plumb stupid," and she bad-mouths the soap opera characters, "You know, Victor Newman is not a good person." Her commentary is more entertaining than the shows.

When we weren't watching her shows, we were either cooking, breaking beans, or shopping. We had a couple little trips to Wal-Mark (where I think I saw one of my Uncles on my dad's side, but can't be for certain, at any rate, I didn't talk to the guy) and a trip to JCPenney, where we searched all over creation for a 3/4 length sleeved shirt with no luck! We also took Dilly to KFC for his birthday dinner; the kid evidently eats there everyday, it's his new addiction. Oh, and for our grand finale, last night, we went to Jenny Wiley Theater twice! In the morning, we went to the matinee of The Dixie Swim Club, and later that night, we went to see Annie! Oh, it was splendid. I love watching Mommaw's face while the show is going on, and hearing her crack up at the funny parts.

Oh, and back to the food. Let's see, we broke beans, cooked beans (Beetle solo), canned beans (Beetle solo), made lasagna, lemon cookies, sugar cookies (known in Dwarf as Allison's Christmas cookies), soup beans, fried taters, greens, and cornbread. Oh, it was delicious! All of it!!

AND, of course, we had watermelon every other night. Dakota Kid came down and shared his watermelon with us. He even sang us songs while we ate. Super cute!
I really miss my Mommaw, Uncles, Aunts, and Cousins. I wish that Dwarf wasn't so far away. :( But I am happy to be home and see my little family here. I think Flashy has grown some since I last saw him! And Doogie has grown more handsome!

Kentucky Cream Candy

Kentucky Cream Candy

4 cups white sugar
1 cup hot water
pinch of salt
Bring to a boil, then add 1/4 tsp cream of tartar. Boil a while longer, then add a small lump of butter and 1 box heaving whipping cream (pour slowly). Boil candy until when it is dropped in ice water, little strings form. When the candy hardens enough to break in two, it is ready to take off the heat. Pour slowly on buttered cookie sheet or pan. Put in freezer for a few minutes. When cool enough, pull until it's white and hard to pull. Roll out candy across table, and cut inch pieces off with scissors.

This hardly ever fails. Does best in cold weather.

-Orpha Noble




Peanut Butter Candy

2 sticks butter
peanut butter
powdered sugar

Melt butter and add in powdered sugar until a dough forms. Flatten out dough and spread peanut butter on top. Roll up (use wax paper to help shape into log). Cut into pieces.

-Beetle

Mommaw the Comedian

Children, my Mommaw is hilarious. Today, we were watching TV (Jeopardy) and a preview for the show Big Brother came on. I was sipping a Pepsi Cola and Mommaw said, "Lawd, that feller looks like a goat!" I am telling you, I nearly spit out my pop. I couldn't quit laughing. Here is the man she said looked like a goat. He had a red bandanna tied around his head, with the tie being in the front. She said those were his little horns.

She also screams at the TV when game shows (like the family feud, The Price is Right, or that show Wayne Brady hosts). "Them people are plumb ignorant. I wouldn't get on national tv if I didn't know no more than that."

Green beans, yeah!

Been in Dwarf 4 days and broke beans 2 of those days. Ate beans 1 of those days, and boy were they tasty! Fresh green beans and cornbread. Can't beat it! Beetle canned 7 jars of beans today, too!

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McDonald's Chainsaw Man and Coco

We stopped at McDonald's on the way home from Wal-Mark and I saw a dude carrying a chainsaw around in the parking lot. Went in, ordered my food, came back out, and he was still waving that thing around. Why? I have no clue. Were there trees being cut down? No, sir. Just a man and his chainsaw.

After Coco lost 3 games for the Reds, Beetle says, "Now, I tell ya, if I was one of them boys (the other Reds), I'd gang up on him and meller (I don't know what this word is) his little head. Each one of them ought to have given him a lick when they walked off the field. If I knew Dusty Baker would get it, I'd write him a letter!" Man, she sure was tore up over that game.

RIP Barksdale Cornett

Barksdale Cornett was a good dog and an even better uncle. Son of Romeo and Sissy, Barksdale came to us 15 years ago via Aunt Eunice. He was cute and cuddly and never vicious (well, there was that time at Christmas when he almost bit my hand off trying to eat my ham). He loved popcorn and licking Pappaw's empty ice cream cup. We loved him with all of our hearts. He will truly be missed. I know he's up in Heaven now with his favorite person, Pappaw. We love you, Barksy.

Dwarf Picture #2

This morning, I was awoken by the lovely aroma of fresh green beans cookin'. Sure, it was 8 o'clock on a Saturday, which is generally against my religion, but I had to get up, you see. I had to go check on the Beetle and make sure she didn't need any help. Well, got up and went to hang with the family. Had me a bowl of Mommaw's famous soup for breakfast. Hearty! I had to scrape the pot to get one bowl. The soup was made last night, but no one told me! Aut was trying to keep it all for himself. The jerk. Anyway, after my breakfast of champions, I sat around and watched everyone cook (I offered to help...I tasted the deviled eggs to make sure they were perfect). 10 o'clock rolled around, and everyone headed down to Homeplace to get ready for the George Washington Cornett reunion. Everyone but me and Aut, who decided to stop by the Wildcat Warehouse in route to Lee's Famous Recipe to meet and greet DeAndre "The Mind Freak" Liggins. We stood in line for about 20 minutes. Oh, and whilst in line, I received a text message from an unknown caller that read, "My boyfriend is out of town this weekend, you still interested in me?" Nice!

Finally got up there to DeAndre. Beetle had ripped off this little piece of paper with which I was supposed to get DeAndre's signature for her. "Tell him your little old Mommaw was too tired from cooking all morning and couldn't come over, but she sure thinks he's a good ball player and wants his autograph." So, instead of the little sheet of paper, I bought Beetle a $10 picture of the boy and got him to sign it, "To Beetle." And he did!! How awesome. I told him it was for my Mommaw. :) To borrow a few lines from Codar, "Why is UK basketball so magical?"

Dwarf picture 1

"Guys, I think we have enough beans to feed all of Perry county." ~Beetle

In Dwarf, breakin' beans like it's my job. Wish Papaw was here to break them...the whole mess would've been done in 10 minutes. He was a bean growin', bean pickin', and bean eatin' professional.

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2 of my favorite things

A kitty & my fancy ring!

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90% of what she talks about

This morning when I drove to work, it was dark and rainy. It made me think of winter, which made me think of Christmas! Naturally, I played some Christmas tunes. This made me think of a comment that brat Codar made the other night:

Codar (to Doug Bear): Do you realize that 90% of what she talks about is Christmas?

Doug Bear (to Cody): She talks about 3 things: food, Christmas, and shopping. [ My shopping is most of the time related to the first 2 things :) By the way, Doogie forgot my 4th favorite topic: KITTIES!]

Anyway, moral of the story, Codar and Doug are jerks...even if they are right.

***Just doing the google search for images of Christmas made my heart swell with joy!

Speaking of food, I'll be on my way to Beetle's this afternoon. I have a deal I'm trying to strike up with the ole gal--"You make me some soup beans, fried taters, and cornbread, and I'll make you some lemon cookies, rice krispie treats, and tiramisu!" Let's see if she bites. Oh, how awesome! I haven't had soup beans and fried taters in sooooo long.

And since we're on the topic, the past 2 weeks have proven to be the week of Alli G, the grillmaster. That's right, folks! You're reading the words of a champion griller. I have successfully grilled the following items: Italian sausage, Big Red Smokys, Oscar Mayer all beef franks, Oscar Mayer all beef franks wif cheeeeze, and hamburgers. Now, the hamburgers were a little dangerous. There was some flamage going on, and I thought that I was going to burn the hairs off of my arms, but I survived, and my burgers weren't bad at all...a little thick...but not bad. My mother can make the perfect hamburger patty; I'm going to have to get her to show me her ways this week while I'm in D-town.

Awesome

It's true. If you look up "awesome" in the dictionary, my name is totally there (well, at least in my good buddy's dictionary...thanks, friend)!

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Milk

"Milk is so magical. Milk is the breast milk of the goddesses." ~Codar

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