Mr. Niles

He never directly interacts with the dudes (it's for the good of everyone), but he does hang out in their room...

A cat and his recliner.

And he hangs out in their baby jail...

Perfect: Yoshi is too fat to jump the gates. 

Happenings, Going-Ons, That Sorta Thing

We had our first injury with blood, AND I did not pass out! Doug had just gone to the store and I was here alone with the dudes. They were having a good ole time in baby jail, until all of a sudden, I heard a squeal. Look up, and what do I see, but a Joe Bear under the wheels of a Sit-to-Stand Learning Walker. And Jules was pushing with all his might, "Why won't this thing move forward?!" I scooped up the Bear and saw that he had a little bloody mouth. I held him, gave him a few seconds to scream, then immediately went for his belly. He was laughing in no time and the injury was forgotten.

The dudes' latest obsession is reading. I'm telling you, people, you cannot even say the words, "book" or "read" unless you can commit to at least 20 minutes of reading time. At the mention of a book, they immediately get giant smiles across their faces, run over to you, and promptly sit down, cross-legged and wait. Their favorites at the moment are Mr. Brown Can Moo, Can You?; a collection of touch and feel books about animals: At the Zoo, At the Farm, Pets, Baby Animals; Barnyard Dance; Penny Penguin; Rhinoceros Firemen; and Baa Baa Black Sheep. (And of course, they will forever love Cuddles the Cow.) I believe Dacian and I have most of these books memorized by heart.

The more you read, the more your vocabulary grows. Well, the dudes have said their first words. If you ask Douglas, of course, he'll say that they've been saying "Da-da" for a long time now. Which is true, they do say it. They say, "Mom-mom," too. However, they say these words for everything. They're just jabbering. (I'm sure the 'first word debate' will be an epic battle that will forever be a part of Wallace Woods lore, much like the true story of the death of the leg lamp on Cleveland Street.)

At any rate, in his baby book (whenever I make one), I will write "Guck" as Jonas's first word (Guck = book). And for Jules, it will be "Baa baa," which he says when he wants to read Baa Baa Black Sheep.

If I didn't have these little dudes, life would be so boring. What the heck did I do before they came along?

A Third Story in Pictures (And a Few Captions)

I love playing with my walking toy!

I said it was MY toy, brother!

That's right. Mine! Hey, wait! Are you in MY house?

I thought I told you once, "That's my house, punk!"

Mommy! Joe is so mean!!

Toys for Twins

The boys will be turning 1 soon...too soon...as in next month! Oh Lord, can you believe we have survived a year? Anyway, I want to ask something of you, my friends. If you plan on buying these dudes a birthday present (which isn't necessary, obviously) consider the following:

1. How annoying is the music/sirens/flashing lights? Will I blow my brains out after hearing it play on a continuous loop?
2. Is it something that can be fashioned into a weapon? Brothers like to knock each other over the head with toys.
3. Is it really cool? Buy two. Please. I beg of you. The exact same thing. When toys are involved, twins do not have individual personalities. They are the same. They want the same. If they don't get the same, it is the mother who suffers.

That is all. Carry on.

Now I have, "Carry on, my wayward sooooon! They'll be peace when you are doooonnee!" stuck in my head. Jamming tune.

Goro, Buffalo Bill, (Not) To Die for Muffins, Amongst Other Things

I wonder how you get the job to be the singer of those annoying songs that play every time your kid hits a button on his toy. Furthermore, whose job is it to write those monster ballads? And why won't someone tell them to make up a song and a tune that isn't terribly annoying...throw us a bone here, we bought your damn toy, you know we're going to have to listen to that song a billion times a day. "I've got a remote, and I'm ready to roll, making things happen 'cause I'm in control!" That crap ain't cutting it, Fisher Price.

"I'm not Goro, dude." A statement directed to Julian from Dacian. Julian crawled over to Dacian in hopes that he would be picked up, but unfortunately for little Jules, Uncle Dacian was already holding his brother. You see, friends, Goro is a boss in Mortal Kombat who has 4 arms. If Dacian was Goro, he'd totally be able to carry both dudes at once. My children are destined to be nerds.

Why did Buffalo Bill have to ruin "American Girl" for me? I could be happily jamming to Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, but instead, the tune comes on and I immediately shiver and think, "It rubs the lotion on the skin or else it gets the hose again."

Sometimes, when I rock a baby to sleep, my heart melts as I look at that cute little face, and feel that soft little hand against my cheek...and then it's back to reality as I feel the flesh tearing away from my face, as that soft little hand reveals its Wolverine claws and digs in. Why do they have to scratch the same spot over and over?!

Time for something with a little substance:

I delivered our May donation to the Children's Home yesterday and they were so excited to have the goodies. We were able to purchase almost everything on their list. We bought a silverware set, serving spoon set, pots and pans, clothes bins, towels, washcloths, dishcloths, pie dish, blender, sharpie markers, dry erase markers, and water bottles! A great big THANK YOU to my partner, Kelli, and all of my awesome pals who helped with the donation. You guys are so cool!

Oh! And 2 new recipes this week:
I made these blueberry muffins. The recipe claims they are to die for, but I  wouldn't sacrifice my life for them. They were good, but I've had better.

Doug's Grandma Cleon's onion salad dressing. Delicious! Now I just need to make a salad to eat with it (though, using it as dipping sauce for chicken tenders was certainly a good call on my part). Here's the recipe, courtesy of Doug's Aunt Nancy!
1 medium onion
2 cups oil
3/4 cup cider vinegar
1 tsp dry mustard
1 tsp celery seed
1 1/2 cups sugar
2 tsp salt
Mix all ingredients in blender for about 1 minute or until desired consistency has been reached.




And just for good measure, here's a picture of my dudes with a new toy:

Another Story in Pictures (with a Few Captions)

Yay! I'm such a happy little bear!

Look, Mom--One hand!

Oh, I love having a brother to play with!

Except when he's in my house! That's my house, punk!

It's Been Too Long

It seems like forever since I last wrote a blog post. I've been in this sort of daze lately thanks to work. Lots of hours writing boring documents and no time for writing fun things. But tonight I finished my work early (ie, before 11), so thought I'd get a quick post in to catch up.

Pause for momentary barf fest: GAG A MAGGOT. There's a commercial on television with Louisville fans talking about how awesome it was to win the National Championship. Ugh. 

Anyway, the boys are wild men. They can clap their hands. Pull themselves up. Jonas can high-five. Julian can push his walking toy all by himself. They've eaten french fries, macaroni and cheese, chicken, and zucchini fritters in addition to their usual food items. They got their first pair of walking shoes! AND, they went swimming. I figured the dudes would like swimming because they have an absolute blast in the tub, but I sure never expected them to love swimming as much as they did. I am serious when I say they laughed the ENTIRE time we were in the pool. Check out the youtube video if you need proof. Ignore my goofy self splashing around like an idiot (evidently, splashing is hilarious).

Is it just me, or are the people of Covington looking more like the cast of The Walking Dead (the walkers) every damn day? They must've had a rough winter because they are looking haggard, man.

A Tragedy

The other night while I was upstairs rocking the boys to sleep, I had a brilliant idea: I'll make rice krispie treats when I go back downstairs. As soon as the boys were dreaming, I headed for the kitchen. Had my butter melting and took off for the pantry to get my marshmallows. As I was carrying them to the kitchen, I noticed that they were sort of hard. I looked at the best by date and it read May 2012. Immediately my heart shattered. No rice krispie treats. After the hurt, I went to anger. Naturally, Doug was to blame for this. Instead of buying me fresh marshmallows like I asked, I knew he just drug those out of the pantry in an attempt to teach me a lesson about being wasteful. I yell at him for this. Um, yeah, that wasn't what happened. He did buy me "fresh" marshmallows at Kroger. However, Kroger must not have cleaned their dang shelves for the past year because they sold the man some year-old brick-like mallows. I know it was you Latonia Kroger. You broke my heart! You broke my heart!

Last week's recipe: Adella's Dirt Cake.

My friend Adella sent me a recipe that is known as her signature dish. She found the recipe when she was in high school. It was just lying in her seat one day waiting for her, knowing that someday it would be shared with me. 

Ingredients
1 pkg Oreos
2 boxes instant vanilla pudding
1 pkg cream cheese
1 cup powdered sugar
12 oz bowl of Cool Whip
1/2 cup butter
Milk for pudding
Directions per Adella: First, make the instant pudding according to box directions. Second, in the absolute most huge bowl you own combine softened cream cheese, powdered sugar, butter, and Cool Whip. After pudding has set, add it in to the huge bowl. Mix well. In a large pan do 1 layer of crushed Oreos. Start with a layer of Oreos, 1 full row is what I do, then layer on half the mixture, then another layer or Oreos, the other half of your mixture, and top it off with a last layer of Oreos. Let it chill for at least 3 hours, but I like to have 6 just so it's good and cold.

Brother Fights

They were fighting over nothing in particular. Just felt like rumbling, I reckon.

Joe putting Julian in the Figure 4.

Be still, Joe, and let me climb over your face to get to this toy.