Dacian the Destroyer (of Bats)!

Ladies and gents, we've had another bat ordeal at the Gastright homestead, and this time I was awake to witness it. So there we were (me, Dacian, and unknown party who's identity will be kept secret out of respect for his honor), sitting on the couch hanging out, living it up like one should on a Friday night, when the cats started acting goofy. Flashy and Mr. were looking out into the abyss turning their heads and following something with their eyes. "Something is up with your cats!" said he who shall remain nameless. "Oh, they do that all the time," I said, "I think they're looking at ghosts!" About 2 minutes later, a giant beady-eyed, winged spawn of Satan comes flying into the TV room. Naturally, I screamed bloody murder. First it was just your regular ole run of the mill scream for my life. Then, as I covered my head and ran to a safe  place, I got up enough courage to scream, "BAAAAAAAT! BAAAAAT!" I locked  myself in the bathroom and waited for someone to deal with the devil bird. (I called Doug, who was at the Reds game, to let him know what was going on. However, I don't think he appreciated my call because he couldn't understand anything I was saying and I had another scream-fit when I thought I saw something move out of the corner of my eye whilst in the bathroom. He just asked simply, "Can Dacian handle it?")

Dacian kept saying, "Calm down, Allie. Being stressed out is not good for you." While he who shall remain nameless was hiding behind a pillow on the couch, but then working up the nerve and running to the porch to help Dacian the Destroyer guide the bat outside (see, in the end he wasn't just a "shell of a man"--he was heroic). Allegedly (as I was locked in the bathroom and don't really know the exact details), Dacian the Destroyer smacked the bat with a towel and threw him out the door! Hooray!!!

Once I was positive that the bat was out of the house, I came out of the bathroom. Dacian told me that he thought there was something much worse than a bat in the house due to the piercing volume of my scream, perhaps a man with a butcher knife or a tommy gun. But alas it was "just" a bat, and Dacian kicked it's skanky body out of the house and saved the day. I was amazed at his courage, he who shall remain nameless was amazed at his calmness with the whole situation, and both were amazed that the cops weren't called due to my death cry.

How do these stinkin bats get in my house???