That Time I Killed a Chick

Oh yeah, so I had this dream last night that I killed someone. Isn't that jacked up? Anyway, Doug said I should tell Codar about it, so, I'll just tell the world. (Don't worry, Codar, it's not as bad as the dream I had about killing the dude with the baseball bat...remember that classic?)

The dream...

We were at my house and this skanky chick was here. I don't know who she was, just that she was a skank. She was sitting on my couch and smoking a cigarette. First of all, I hate cigarette smoke. Secondly, I hate skanks. Thirdly, the skank was smoking her cigarette in MY HOUSE. So, what did I do? I told that hag, "You are not allowed to smoke in my house!" She replied by giving me a challenging look and continued to smoke. I repeated myself,  "You are not allowed to smoke in my house. Get the hell out." She stood up, looked at me, and flicked her lit cigarette onto my couch. I pummeled her! Then I held her down on her lit cigarette, which burned completely through her body until you could see her organs falling out. Then I woke up.

I describe this dream to Dacian.
Dacian: Damn. That's harsh, Alli. Though, I agree, she was a complete bitch.


Another dream.

All of the zombie pictures terrify me. Therefore, you get Rick.

This is my brain after watching The Walking Dead.
We were at my house again and a party was happening. For some reason, everyone at this party was a zombie. Doug was being a complete a-hole and was no help in ridding the house of zombies. I went into our bedroom to check on the babies who were sleeping on the bed. That's when shit got real. Some jackass zombie knocked one of the babies off the bed. I went berserk. I tore the zombie's arm off and beat him to death (well, death #2) with his own arm. Stupid zombies.

Well. That's it. I've done it now. I just google-image searched "zombie" and the freaking bath-salt cannibal popped up alongside the picture of his victim. Get ready for tomorrow's post regarding my hellish nightmare of being eaten alive. Good grief.

Clueless...

Not the movie, the man.

Remember when Dacian thought that Peyton Manning was the quarterback for the Bengals? Well, he's gone and one-upped himself with his unawareness of sports/pop-culture. Today we were talking about watching television shows on the internet via hulu or the broadcasting station's website. I told him I felt his pain regarding the excessive play of that damn Homeland marathon commercial. Then this happened.

Dacian: They've been playing a new one lately. It's a commercial for a phone where they follow this dude around doing different things. Then at the end, he is at a barber shop, and someone shows him a video of another dude slam-dunking a basketball.
Me: Stares at Dacian like he has 3 heads. Really, Dacian?
Dacian: What?
Me: You don't know who that is?
Dacian: Just some random dude.
Me: LeBron James. Not a random dude. My 80 year-old-grandmother knows who LeBron James is!*
Dacian: In my defense, when you said LeBron James, I knew that that was a basketball player.
Me: Good grief.
* Beetle loves LeBron James!

In other news...

It is impossible to NOT think of this face!

I went shopping tonight by myself. It was fun! All I bought was a snowman wallflower from Bath and Body Works, but I still enjoyed being out and about, listening to Christmas music, and looking at all the pretty things the stores had to offer. My new favorite store is Altar'd State! Such cool clothing. Too bad I didn't find anything there tonight. Well, anything I was willing to purchase this close to Christmas. Maybe in a couple of months I can go on a nice shopping spree for myself (maybe we'll get a bonus this year!). Anyway, I did realize one thing while out tonight: I can no longer peruse the stores at my leisure without the constant feeling of needing to rush in order to get home to my babies. (Doug would probably say that this is not the case..to him, it probably felt like I was gone for 5 hours instead of 1.5 hours.) I felt this same way when I was out for a friend's wedding. I just get this uneasy feeling and cannot truly relax and completely enjoy myself. I am continually thinking of getting back home to the little dudes. I wonder if I'll always feel a little off when I am away from them? Probably. That's just something that comes along with being a mother, I reckon.

Perspective

Mommaw has made a snowman that is nearly the size of her! (This is my green snowman from the previous post.)

What did you do all day?

Today, the boys and I watched Ralphie (A Christmas Story) again, and we wrapped Christmas presents. This is what your house looks like when you have twins and get the bright idea to wrap presents.

We wrapped Aunt Boomer's present--mommy & baby possums!

Jonas had to take a lunch break. Then took a 3 minute power nap...he still had a milk mustache.

We received a text from Dwarf. Beetle's bazaar was going well. Making mad cash!!

Beetle made this after we left Dwarf Sunday. To quote Wayne Campbell:  He will be mine. Oh, yes. He will be mine.

We played a little.

Jonas put on his war face!

Such an exhausting day!

Goats in Trees

So, over the summer, I got a promotion at work. Along with this promotion comes my very own office...well, technically, the office comes when I return to work full-time. Anyhow, to congratulate me on my achievements, my cousin Jason decided that he would get me a little something for my office. He got me a calendar. Goats in trees. That's right. A whole year's worth of the best goats in trees shots you could imagine. Oh, and a bonus image with a December 2012 calendar. Goats in trees, people. This is the crap you could only find in my cubicle.

If our work was a reality show today would've been a funny episode. The boss came stealthily around the corner, perhaps just in time to hear me cursing his name and seeing my good friend and fellow Red Poppy Road citizen a-judy-chop (a la Diemon Dave's Ninjee Skoo) his azz (his azz actually being the invisible version of his azz). Anyway, it was quite hilarious. Though, I don't know how I managed to summons up a serious look when he popped up out of the blue. *sigh* Even if he did hear/see our antics, he probably didn't know what the hell we were doing, and was too scared to ask (most people are). If you don't know Diemon Dave, you better watch this: Diemon Dave's Ninjee Skoo

The babies are sleeping in their cribs (hotdog!), and the husband is sleeping upstairs. So, this old gal is going to turn in for the night as well. Goodnight, friends! 

This Weekend

This has been a pretty good weekend.

I saw a squirrel.

An original Army Jeep. With Mason Jar lids as headlights.

Joe Bear blew bubbles while eating green beans, thereby covering Mom in green beans.

Rupp's rafters.

Julian's & Jonas's Christmas ornaments from Beetle.

My Shampoo Obsession

It has been noted that I buy too much shampoo. To the point that, at one of our parties, my lovely friend asked, "Allison, how many people live in this house? Two? Why do you have so much shampoo?" My defense at the time was that I was shopping for a shampoo for oily hair that actually worked. We all know that wasn't true...just a cover-up. Well, I want you all to know that I come by my obsession naturally. Take a look at the amount of product in Beetle's shower.