The Gastrights vs The Bears

 Wow. It has been a long time since I've posted on this here little blog. What brings me back, you ask? The Bears.

It was the first weekend of October, and the Gastrights decided to take a nice fall trip to the Great Smoky Mountains! Oh, it would be so much fun! We'd ride a mountain roller coaster, eat yummy food, enjoy beautiful scenery, fall into some tourist traps, and maybe see a black bear!

Cut to Sunday. We saw a bear, alright. Make that 3 bears.

So cute but so scary.

We were running through all the errands to check-out of our cozy cabin. We had gathered all the trash, and Doug was taking it down the driveway to the "bear safe garbage bin." He got about halfway down the hill when he noticed Mama Bear. He said, "I looked at her, and she looked at me, and then I took off." 

I had also sent my poor child, Jonas, down with a bag of garbage. He was intercepted by his father, and upon seeing Mama Bear, also took off back to the cabin.

Meanwhile, I had been hollering at the children to "get your crap together and get in the car!" and for once in her life Kate had listened. So, she was sitting in the suburban when Doug and Jonas came running up the driveway. Doug did not have time to get Kate out of the car, so he just shut all the doors and locked them. She was listening to an audiobook and was completely oblivious to the situation at hand.

The 4 of us in the cabin watched the 3 bears (Mama and 2 cubs) saunter around the premises looking for a snacky. I was stressing out that Kate, at any moment, would get annoyed and hop out of the suburban to see what was taking everyone else so long. (Probably best for the bear that she didn't get out.)

Seeing what Doug is up to.

Doug hit the key fob repeatedly to blow the horn, trying to make a loud noise to scare Mama and cubs away, but alas, these bears are used to car horns. Did not make a bit of a difference.

We watched them a bit longer, and they finally walked off. Doug set back out to throw out the garbage, and the rest of us piled into the car. I was loading stuff into the back of the car when Doug yelled, "You better hurry up and get in the car!" At the time, I thought he was just joking around, but considering my base level is wimp, I still moved very quickly and got myself in the car. Well, he was not joking, the bears had returned. So now, the children and I were in the suburban and Doug was in the cabin. 

Lord have mercy! I've never been so terrified (except maybe when I found the snake in my bathroom, that's a story for another day). The children were all excited to see the bears, meanwhile, I was about to soil myself. Mama bear stood up and pressed her nose to my window. I almost fainted. Julian was taking pictures. Kate finally realized there were bears. Jonas was stunned into silence. Doug said he was giggling to himself in the cabin watching the surreal situation unfold, then looked up and saw my face (pure hysteria). 

The moment when I was about to pass out.

Finally, Doug thought to start the car with the key fob. Once the suburban came alive, the bears decided to go victimize another family. 

People, them Tennessee mountains are wild. I think I'll stick to my Kentucky mountains.