The Funny One

At the movies with this bunch today. Paddington 2.

Last night Julian told me, “Mom, you’re really bad at iPads.” He also told me over the weekend that, “You do Netflix really wrong.” It’s all true. My 5 year old is better at technology than I am.

How I get so angry when I cannot operate my device!! I want to scream profanities, but I cannot, which makes me even angrier. “WHY, TABLET, MUST YOU RETURN TO THIS FREAKING SCREEN? I DID NOT ASK YOU TO GO TO THIS SCREEN. I JUST WANT TO READ A BOOK. WHERE ARE MY BOOKS STORED? WHY CAN I NOT TOUCH THE BOOK ICON AND BE TAKEN TO THE BOOKS? I SHOULD’VE JUST BOUGHT A DAMN BOOK.” Deep inhale. Slow exhale. Do not throw tablet. Do not throw tablet.

I wonder what it’ll be like as they (my children) get older, and I get even worse at technology. It’ll be like the time my Pappaw said, “Reckon how they got that big buck to go into the gym like that?” In response to an insurance commercial with a CGI deer. I’ll be Pappaw. They’ll be me, sniggering in the background. Julian won’t even snigger, he’ll openly mock me as he does now. He thinks he’s so funny.

He actually said to Doug that he considers himself to be the funny brother. "Jonas is the cute one, and I am the funny one," he says. What a riot!