Obsessed much? Too much? Or much too much?

Children, my husband is obsessed with our inflatable black cat in the front yard and it's ability to attract the attention of Wallace Woods walkers and their dogs. If he hears a dog bark, he is to the front door lickity-split. Then he laughs. "Oh, Allison, come look at this!" He says. You know, because I've never seen a dog before, or kid entranced with a 6 ft tall, glowing, moving, black cat. Okay, so I enjoy it, too. But the man is a man possessed, I tell ya. He has now rigged up a sound bite to play when a passerby stops to see the black cat. It is a Halloween clip of a cat screeching. Let me tell you, it distresses the shiz out of our fursons. But, it makes the ole ball and chains laugh with glee. I am thinking this is going to be a sort of leg lamp deal with us. I'll turn the speakers off to "save electricity," and he'll get angry and turn them back on to traumatize the neighborhood dogs. What can I say? I love the guy.

How much is too much to spend on a Halloween costume? I want a costume that costs $75. I am too big of a tight wad to buy it, but it would be sooooo awesome! Oh, and I have already purchased one costume, so there's another reason I shouldn't order the second one. Someday, when I am rich, I am going to have a Super Sweet Halloween Party and just like those rich cows on that MTV show My Super Sweet 16, I am going to change outfits multiple times throughout the night. When you arrive, I'll be a pirate. An hour later, I'll be Freddy Kruger. An hour after that I'll be Darth Vader. Then, I'll finish the night off as a pumpkin. Wouldn't that be spectacular? Spooktacular!

In other news, my girl crush on Zooey Deschanel continues to grow. Have you been watching her new show, New Girl? If you haven't, I suggest you do so immediately. It is hilarious. Naturally, Zooey's character is the best, but a close second is the character of Schmit. I am telling you, you will laugh out loud at this clown. Last night's episode...I laughed so loudly that I woke up Flash Gordon who was heavily sawing logs. Watch the show!

There's a DINOSAUR in the LIBRARY

I don't know who those chicks are in the photo.

Going to class on Wednesday evening, I did not expect to see what I saw hanging out in the library. Yes, ladies and gentleman, it is true. There is a stegasaurus beetle in the Steeley Library. Yes, ladies and gentleman, it is true. I have been going to school for nearly 2 years and this is my first venture to the library. SUE ME! Anyway, the sculpture really is rad. You know, NKU may be a hideous concrete jungle of a campus, but they do have some pretty cool jazz hanging around the joint.

I wonder if the kid gets the same design as me, too.

Speaking of cool jazz, I  got some new kicks. They are extremely rockin'. How I love TOMS shoes. They are so much like wearing house slippers, except my house slippers are a tad bit warmer. Everyone should own at least one pair of TOMS. You would thank me if you bought a pair. Just think, you get to wear the equivalent of house slippers out in public and some starving child in BFE gets a new pair of kicks, too. Go ahead, buy a pair. [Paid for by TOMS shoes.]

In other news, I am deeply saddened. Last night, Douglas told me that someone is interested in my Betty Blue. For those of you who don't know, we are trying to sell the girl in hopes of buying a new whip (bigger, AWD, AUTOMATIC). Anyway, I don't want to see her go. She is so beautiful! I hope this dude who is coming to see her tomorrow loves her and if he buys her, takes good care of my girl. (This reminds me of that killer Alan Jackson song First Love. "I never should have sold her, I'll always love her, she was mine.")

Gangsta Gangsta

First album dedicated to my sons. Represent.

Get ready, children, I'm about to release a rap album with my homie, Omie. What! Straight outta Dwarf! We'll be takin' our beats to the masses. Passin' the mic to Dacian the Destroyer. Throwin' down some battle lyrics. And generally takin' the rap world by storm. Ain't nobody like us. Look for our first single to debut soon: Kitty in a Basket.

Closet Cusser

Children, Boomer says that Beetle is a closet cusser (i.e., she likes to cuss but only does so when she tells jokes or stories repeated as they were told to her) and I have to agree. I ventured down to Dwarf this weekend for Labor Day and wasn't in the house no more than an hour before she was dropping the bombs. First, she said that she wanted to get my cousin (who shall remain nameless) a t-shirt for Christmas that read, "Professional Smart A$$" across the front. She then went on to tell me of a shirt that I needed to purchase, "My family tree has some freaking twisted branches." Now, I know "freaking" isn't really a cuss word, but I tell you what, it is hilarious hearing it from a 79 year old Mommaw! After those 2 gems, she relayed an Aunt Eunice tale to me:


Matt Bowman worked as a cook at Campton Elementary where Eunice taught. She was a lively woman and didn't give no mind to what came out of her mouth, colorful or otherwise. When something excited her, the phrase she always let out was, "Shut your mouth!" Well, she was down at Eunice's one night and Eunice had told her some big tale, Lord knows what was said, but Matt rared back her head and hollered, "Shut your mouth!" Now, Bethel, who was about 6 or 7 at the time, had been in the kitchen playing while the women were talking. He looked up at Matt and said, "Mrs. Bowman, why do you always tell my mother to shut her mouth?" Matt let out an awful cackle and said, "Oh, Eunice, listen at the little son of a bitch!" 


Beetle is so awesome.

Snuggled kitty

Flash loves his mommy.