Dreams

I rode Bus No. 6

Why are dreams so weird? Last night I had a dream that my mom and dad had to go to the doctor because they had "scoobies," which evidently in my dream world is cooties of the gums. What? That doesn't make a lick of sense! Why on earth would I dream that? In the same dream, I was walking up the holler to my Mommaw's house and was right below her driveway when the school bus came rolling by. Because I didn't want to get run-over or be seen, I jumped off of the road down over the creek bank. That was fruitless, however, and Bill (my old bus driver) stopped and hollered out the window, "Allison, you need a ride to school? Aren't you teaching today?" I answered, "no" and Bill went on his way. Directly, Curt comes busting down the road on my purple bike. "Where are you going, Curt?" He replies, "Going to school. I missed the bus and my truck is tore up, so I have to ride the bike." I asked him, "Do you want me to drive you? [p.s. where was the car when I was hoofing it up the holler to Beetle's?] It's going to be mighty dangerous riding that bike and sharing the road with coal trucks." To which Curt says, "I'm good for the challenge." <---Dumbest dream ever.

Oh, the school bus. Brings back so many memories. My bus seat was shared with my buddy and cousin, John Irvin. In the mornings, we would sleep. We would prop our legs up on the back of the seat in front of us. Because I was the first to get on the bus, I always got the window seat. I propped myself up on that, using my jacket or backpack as a pillow. John would use my shoulder as a pillow. On the ride home, we'd usually do  our homework or tell jokes and make up songs about our cousins. One such song was about John Ed, it was set to the tune of George Thorogood's "Bad to the Bone," and went like this, "On the day John Ed was born, he had a turd in his mouth." Classic.

And I'll tell you this one just for shits and giggles because I know you've all heard it. When I was in 3rd or 4th grade, Edward Dale Brewer was an 8th grader and was a fellow bus rider. Well, earlier that hot, summer day, I had eaten half of a Snickers (or was it Baby Ruth) candy bar. Instead of throwing the other half away, I simply wrapped back in its package (with some extra tape for good measure) and stuck it in my pocket. On the bus ride home, the candy bar melted. Chocolate was all over the side of my pants. Edward Dale Brewer saw this and proceeded to hang his head out the window of the bus as it drove off and I stood alone at the top of my driveway, "Allison, did you poop your pants? Poopy pants. Poopy pants." What a jerk. If I hadn't have been 8 years old and mortified, I would've thrown a rock at that kid. "Poopy pants." What? Like I poop out the side of my hip!? Stupid Edward Dale Brewer.

Saturday morning at 125

Doug and BC chillin' on the hammock.

Wendy's

Okay, so I slipped up. Sue me!

Anyway, this made my night: I was basically starving to death by the time I left class tonight. My salad lunch had already left me hours ago. Around 7 o'clock I began to daydream about a classic Wendy's single and fries. I knew I had to have them as soon as possible. In front of me in the drive-thru was a mother. I immediately became agitated. I hate when parents stand in line for 20 minutes fighting with their kid over what to get in their kid's meal--nuggets or burger. Just order the damn kid something! Anyway, tonight the wait was worth it. I heard the mother order a junior Frosty, then I saw a little fist fly up from the back seat. Fist-pumping your mom's ordering of a Frosty just for you--now that is something I can certainly get behind!

Pretty Lights

Well, children, I've done it again. I was supposed to arrive to work at 7:30 today, so's I could leave at 4. Get to campus, study, and go to class. Well, for some reason, I had it in my head this morning that I needed to get here at 7. I was sitting here looking at my calendar when I realized what I had done. Son of a biscuit! I could've slept in an extra 30 minutes. Oh well, now I can leave at 3:30 and have a little bit of extra study time at school. It'll all work out. And, on top of that, I got to drive through downtown in the dark, which is always nice because I just love the city lights. Crossing the Roebling while it is all lit up is just magnificent. Made my morning. Maybe someday I'll crack open some of Joe's books on the Roebling and see what it's all about.

Expect me to crash hard around 5 o'clock this evening. I am going to be dragging in class tonight. I hope we don't have to do anything too intense. Here's to hoping we stick with going over the syllabus and lousy introductions! (Is it a bad sign that is the first night of class and I am already hoping it lets out early?)

Fitness Class, Here I Come!

Don't expect me to show up in an outfit like this.

So, Facebook has this thing where it tells you what your status was 1 year ago today. Well, friends, 1 year ago today, I "wanted a cheese coney." This was preceeded by yesterday's 1 year ago today status of, "Allison Gastright made caramel popcorn." Have I always been obsessed with food? Could be worse, I reckon. But, there is hope yet, children. I have enlisted a few friends and we are embarking on a journey of physical fitness. Monday nights we shall attempt Zumba and Thursday nights we shall attend a beginners' workout class. I will let you know if I survive.

On another note, I have turned into my husband. I am now obsessed with cars. Why? I do not need another unhealthy obsession (and I do not need another car). Why can't I be obsessed with cleaning my house? Or eating vegetables? Or doing my homework?

Speaking of homework...it's that time again. First day of class is tomorrow. Wish me luck! Prepare thyself for a 4-month long period of bitching and moaning from yours truly. Here's to hoping I can pull it off and actually graduate in December!

The World's Smallest Sammie

Ladies and gentlemen, this is what you are reduced to when trying to watch your girlish figure. Yes, it may only be 100 calories, but it is also only 3 bites.


***Note: I don't know why the title read, "Sallow." What the heck!? I guess it was auto-correct spelling on my phone. DUMB.

Update

It's a been while since I've written, don't know what's up with that. Blame it on my laziness, I reckon. But I am back dang it, and here's a rundown of what's been going on lately:

My boyfriend, John Wall

Let's start with the coolest thing that has happened to me in quite some time, a night I will cherish forever. Monday night Doug, Chris (what an awesome first trip to Rupp for him!), and I made a trip to Rupp Arena for some basketball action. Former UK players who are now in the NBA played against a Calipari-coached Dominican Nationals Team. OH MY GOD, it was so totally mind-blowing. I got all teary eyed when they did the starting line-up. First, of course, they announced the line-up for the Dominican team--hysterical. The crowd booed former U of L players Garcia and Sosa so badly; it was incredibly, hilariously awesome. Then, they (well, we) gave the same treatment to a former Florida player (Horford). That punk had the audacity to do a gator chomp back at us; oddly enough, I think he got a little respect for that. Oh, and then Eloy Vargas (current UK player who played for the Dominican) got the loudest ovation he'll ever receive in his life (we'll be crying when Cal puts him in the game during the regular season...dude isn't a great ballplayer...of course, that's what I thought about Jorts going into the beginning of last season and we all know what a tremendous senior season he had).

After announcing the Dominican team, it was time for the Pros. The lights went down, the spot lights came on, the speakers were blasting the "let's get fired up" music, and the fireworks were booming (yes, there were fireworks inside Rupp Arena). Oh, so cool! Eric Bledsoe! Keith Bogans! Nazr Mohammed! TAYSHAUN  PRINCE! RAJON RONDO! DeMarcus Cousins! My boyfriend, John Wall! Jodie Meeks! Oh my dear God did I scream my head off. It was epic, children. My words cannot describe what an awesome night that was. Doug and I smiled from ear to ear, simply beaming with joy, as were the other 24,000+ fans. Superb night of basketball in AUGUST.

Monday wasn't all thrills, though. This day also brought pain to my beautiful Betty Blue and my little heart. Because I was leaving early that day to go to Rupp, I came into work very early. I got there around 6:45. It was still dark out on the drive in, and that is why I didn't see whatever it was I run over (it wasn't a human or an animal, I checked for blood, and the sound it made wasn't the sound I think a body would make when it hit a car). Anyway, it was metal or hard plastic of some sort. I ran over it, and it whipped up and hit my driver's side door. Left a nice ding and a scratch. Well, I was thoroughly depressed about it. Doug Bear took it to a few shops and figured it's gonna run me about $600 to get fixed. Now, isn't that just the worst feeling in the entire world...spend that kind of money on something that was fine the day before. Ugh. I could've bought something cool with that cash. *Sigh...

Doug, disregard the John Wall comment.
Know that I love you and you need to buy me this
for Christmas.

Oh, and speaking of cars, don't tell Betty Blue, but I want an Infiniti G37. I told Doogie to buy it for me for Christmas, but I have my doubts that it will actually show up in the driveway with one of those big bows on it. You know, cause me and Doug are so rich that I can afford to just go buy a new car. BUT, someday, I will buy a new car, and it might just be an Infiniti G37 (practical family car--an automatic, which is definitely a requirement for my new ride, and AWD, good in the snow).

Random thought...every time I am writing a report at work and I create an in-text figure and it happens to be Figure 4, I think of The Nature Boy Rick Flair.

So, I started a healthy eating kick again. Let's see how long this one lasts. Oh, but tonight I had a bacon cheeseburger for dinner, so maybe I've already screwed up, BUT, I had fiber Eggo waffles and a banana for breakfast (yay) and a PB&J sammich (multigrain bread and reduced fat PB with just a little tiny bit of blackberry jam) and fruit for lunch (yay again). So, I'm proud of myself. However, I would like to say to hell with Dairy Queen who, on this month where I have decided to eat health, has made NUTTER BUTTER blizzards the blizzard of the month. Heartless bastards.

Lastly, there are a TON of movies out that I want to see. Who's gonna go with me? Crazy, Stupid, Love. Fright Night. Conan. One Day. Let's go to AMC, people!

New hairdo

Terrible picture but whatevs. According to Brent at Pump salon, this is my natural shade. I think it's a bit darker than the natural shade, but I still like it.  Yesterday after leaving the salon, you know, when my hair was actually styled, I felt like IMAP Thurman from Pulp Fiction.

The best Mexican

Tonight I tried something new at El Rio: shrimp fajitas! Delicious!

Treat!

A nice decaffeinated beverage from 2 cool gals. They like me! They really like me!

Zip it. Zip it good.

Went to dinner with a good buddy tonight. We had an adventure & tried something new-- Zips Cafe! It was outstanding and pretty well priced. It was almost as good as a Connie Jones burger.

Aunt Unique's Spray Down

I thought this was cool, so I wanted to share it. Anyway, I based it off of George RR Martin's family trees he does for each house in Game of Thrones. Hey, that bit about the Cornetts being related to a king...I didn't make that up! I have a verifiable source!

HOUSE CORNETT of Dwarf, Kentucky



Family sigil: Copperhead


The Cornetts trace their decent from King Canute, the Great King of England, Denmark, and Norway, the son of Sweyn Forkbeard, King of Denmark. Upon his arrival in Virginia, John Canute changed the spelling of the name to Cornett, which is the spelling used today. The name is pronounced, Corn-it in southeastern Kentucky, and Corn-ette by city folk.

And after that above, I went on to list out the family tree, but I don't want to bore you with that.

Instead, here's a Taulbee tale.

Aunt Eunice’s Big Spray Down as told by Connie Cornett Jones

Once again we were down in Flat Mary visiting my Mommaw Taulbee. Everyone was socializing outside on the carport. The grownups were playing fiddle sticks, and the kids, well, were all running around catching lightning bugs. Mom, Dad, and Uncle Joel (Aunt Eunice’s husband) were waiting on Aunt Eunice to come back from riding her big mare up the holler from Mommaw’s house, they were going to throw horse shoes when she got there. Well, it kept getting later and darker, and finally Uncle Joel said, “Well, Alice, I don't know what to think about your sister. She has got lost on that horse.” About that time, we heard a faint holler. We looked up and saw Aunt Eunice riding toward us. As she got closer, we started smelling this awful odor, and the dogs started to run away from her! Finally, she got close enough to where we could hear her holler, “Joel, get me some tomato juice and some clean clothes! I’ve been sprayed by a skunk!” Everyone started laughing and holding their noses.

New phone

I am posting this blog via my new phone. It rules. Husband is extremely jealous. It is so hard to type on the touch screen when I am used to my keyboard. Oh, but my phone takes 3-D pics!

Morning Commute

These are the new models. A little mini-truck! How cute!

Where do VW Bugs go when they die? They go to a place called Mexico! <---I thought about this on the drive to work this morning when a vintage VW Bug drove by me. "Why don't you ever see any of those on the road? Oh, because they are all in Mexico. I am serious. Mexico is the home of the old school Bug, those Chevy El Caminos (new ones, not old ones), and old Nissan sentras. I wish I knew what those little el caminos were called so I could show you a picture. I know you are envisioning an original el camino, but the ones I am referring to are smaller and were actually made fairly recently.

**Note: I found them! Google = amazing. Chevy Tornado

Another interesting something that happened this morning...I was listening to NPR on the way in, but I really wasn't paying attention until I heard the voice from the dash say, "Fracking." And he said it again and again. What the heck?! Are the cylons coming? What the frack is going on? Evidently, fracking is a term used to describe the process of drilling for natural gas. Pennsylvania is fracking the frack out of the natural gas in its boundaries.

Something great about mornings: Sweet text messages from your true love. : )