It's the Great Pumpkin, Beetle Cornett

The amazon goldbox deal of the day was a Kodak digital camera for $60. I thought to myself, “Who would like that camera for Christmas?” I thought of Beetle. Would she use a camera? What would she photograph? I can see her now, out taking pictures of her gourdes and pumpkins. But have you ever even seen Beetle with a camera? I know she hates having her picture taken, but does she like taking pictures? I’ve known her for nearly 27 years and have never seen her with a camera in hand.

Hand it to Doogie to pull an AC today. He drove to class with his backpack on the top of his car. He made it a couple blocks to Holmes High School before the bag hit the pavement. Everything survived. His laptop has a few scratches, but it still works. Thankfully, good neighbors found and returned the bag, with everything in it! Doogie proclaimed earlier that his day has been a fortunate one: this morning, the kitties (all but my sweet angel, Flashy) had run away, but we found them within 15 minutes; this evening, the backpack incident. No harm, just a lot of aggravation! Lucky!

Lucky for Doogie, he got to drive a sweet ride home today (mine is in the shop, so he got a loaner). A Chevy Aveo. Hahahaha! (No offense to anyone who is reading this and owns that little tin can....Why is it that every statement that starts with "no offense" is highly offensive? I mean, why bother?) Anyhow, that car is hilarious. I had to drive the lost backpack to Doogie at NKU. I didn't think we (the Aveo and I) were going to make it up Taylor Mill Hill. I floored that sucker, and it barely reached 40. It took it 10 minutes to shift gears. Good Lord. Oh, and I thought I was going to die when I attempted to merge onto 275 from the ramp. A damn minivan nearly wiped me off the map! Putt, putt, putt..."I'm a Chevy Aveo and I max out at 50 mph. Aroldis Chapman can throw a ball faster than I can scoot across the road." I hate to say it, but Brian had it right in regards to the driving experience of the Aveo, "A $50 pair of gym shoes will give you the same experience."

Hang up your stockings

Handmade by Beetle with beads from Aunt Unique's jewelry!

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2 tall, thin Xmas fellows

Handcrafted by Beetle

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A skinny snowman

Handcrafted by Beetle

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Had a ball Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, but it's all over now and it sure is Monday

Gross! Monday! I hate Mondays! This is going to be a terrible week at work, too. Boo to it all! Boo, says I!

I am also upset about this weather. It was so hot today! I thought it was fall!? I thought we had something going on there for the past few days. What happened? I just looked at the weather forecast...for the next 5 days, temps range from 93 to 95. How dare you, mother earth, how dare you!

You should've been at Great American Ballpark Friday night! It was a great night for the Redlegs to whip up on some Cubbies! (Did you read that sentence? It is as if I've always been a baseball fan!) Three homers for Babe Bruce. Three! It was unreal. And the weather (this was before mother earth decided that she'd be a skank and take back fall) was wonderful (this was after the sun disappeared behind the ballpark)! Oh, and let's not forget that delicious Big Red Smokey! Mmm I wish I had another one right this minute! "Hey, if you were a hotdog and you were starving to death, would you eat yourself? It's a simple question."--Will Ferrell as Harry Caray


Cary Grant, Humphrey Bogart, Audrey Hepburn, Jimmy Stewart...do we have actors like these today? They simply don't make movies like they used to. The gals came over Saturday night for a little movie night and we watched Annie Hall and Sabrina. Both were great! I think I enjoyed Sabrina more--you know how I love a happy ending. And while we're on the subject, and as I mentioned Jimmy Stewart, I am ashamed, being the lover of all things Christmas, to say that I have never watched It's a Wonderful Life. Isn't that terrible? It's currently sitting in my amazon.com shopping cart, along with The Wizard of Oz (calm down, I've seen that one). I'll get around to purchasing them as soon as I commit. I'm saving for a table, you know! Every penny counts!

Too many tomaters!

Want some?

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It's beginning to look a lot like fall

I love walking barefoot through the house and going over a warm spot...where a kitty has been laying. Always makes me smile.

Smiled, laughed, laughed some more, oh and laughed! Wooo....Dacian's mother cleaned out his car a few days ago, if only you knew the significance of that.

That ballgame yesterday was a doozy! I sure thought the Reds were going to get beat! I'm glad they didn't. Thank goodness for Joey Votto! I bet Mommaw and Bob were about to stroke. Doogie and I listened to the game on the radio whilst swinging on my porch swing. It was a perfect night for it (minus the dang mosquitos)! Fall is practically here. K and I discussed the Halloween party menu. Peeled grape eyeballs! Mummies (pigs in a blanket)! Witches' brew! Popcorn balls! How wonderful!

Wonderful...today will not be. It will be lonely. Jenna is gone. Brian is gone. I'm all alone. Oh, and a big thanks to my pal, Brian, for starting the day off right (even though he is ditching today) with a Great Pumpkin greeting! I hope you enjoy your day off (must be nice) and don't embarrass your baby on her first day of school with your uncontrollable crying (remember the wedding?).

Missing my friend and back to school

My world is so lonely without Jenna and Doug. I miss talking to them throughout the day. Jenna will be back next week, and hopefully Doogie will be feeling better and back to normal soon!

Soon my nights of doing nothing will be over. This weekend, I'll actually have to do homework. Yuck! But, it won't be so bad. I am very excited about my classes. Last night was the first day of school! Both classes sound like they're going to be very neat:

HIS 515 Introduction to Public History - In this class, I will get to explore all the career options I will have once I obtain my MA. We will hear from experts from the field and do some networking. We will get to be archivists and sort through a prominent Ky family's postcard collection and determine which are appropriate for public view and which need to be stashed away forever.

HIS 616 Oral History - I am most excited for this class. Learning the art of interviewing. Can you see me interviewing someone? I will be like Buddy the Elf..."What's your favorite color?" Our class project will be over Rosedale Manor or The Beverly Hills Club fire. I think I will be working on the latter, but that shall be determined next Tuesday. Oh, and one of the coolest projects for the class: Foodways exercise--I get to interview a family member on a family dish. Write a narrative about the dish, cook it, and bring it to class on our last day. How awesome! I get credit for doing this? : )

This is going to be a great semester! I hope Doogie's semester in laaaaaw school is equally as fun.

2 dirty jokes and 1 sweet statement

Well, the trip to Hazard was for a sad event, but I did get to spend the night with my Mommaw, and that is always fun. Before I forget them, I wanted to share these gems...

"Being friends with Brother Oberine was a foretaste of Heaven."

"We had this cousin named Tiny, and she'd had everything you can have done to her ole body. Unique was up here one day and she said, 'She's had her tummy tucked, her boobs lifted, her butt filled, I guess the only thing left is to sew her p**** up.' I said, Unique, I swear, that's the funniest thing I've ever heard in my life!"

"This little woman had a cat. The cat died and she wanted to bury it out in the country, only she didn't have a car to take her there, so she had to ride the bus. She gets on the bus and says to the driver, 'I've got a dead cat in my bag, I'm aiming to take him out to the country to bury him. Is it all right if I go ahead and get on.' He said it was okay, and she got on the bus with her dead cat. Several bus stops later the driver announced, 'Will the woman with the stinking puss get off the bus?!' 12 women stood up and departed."

Oh what funny things are seen!

The first Halloween purchase of the season. Carol, on behalf of Doogie, bought me these fantastic severed fingers last night at The Dollar Tree!

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The best of friends

Today my Pap's best buddy passed away. Little Oberine, or Obi Wan, as we called him. He was such a suave little fellow. I always loved when he was asked to say the prayer at church. He had a great prayer voice. He and Pap were like brothers. I'm sure they've already met up by now and are happy as larks to be together again. May Obi rest in peace. I sure did love him.

Yoshi and his Ikea rat

Friends or foes?

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STRESS!

Stress sucks. It makes my head pound. It makes my face turn red and burn like fire. I have no desire for anything related to stress. No stressful job, no stressful relationships. I wanna be Joe Cool. Stress free is the way to be!

Be excited, children, for it was in the 60's this morning. Oh yes, fall is fast approaching! However, Back to School still reigns supreme in the holiday section of Target and Kroger. WTF! Where is the Halloween stuffs!? We need black cat figurines stat! Candy corn! Skeleton rings! Wax lips! Candy apples! I got excited tonight whilst shopping...I saw black and orange in the "holiday" aisle at Kroger, but alas, it was only Reese Cups.


Couple of days and school starts back. Frown. I have enjoyed my summer off. Planning my night at home...what will it be? A movie? A walk around the Woods? A shopping trip? All of that will end come August 24. Nights after work will be devoted to studying and interpreting history, which, as a nerd I do enjoy. The thing that gets me is the grade. With the grade comes stress, with the stress comes headaches. Bah! Oh well, could be worse, I could be in law school. "Allison, I would help you, but I'm in laaaaaw school. I have to study. I can't spend time with you, I'm in laaaaaw school." I think law school automatically turns you into a major scratch hag (which is infinitely worse than a grouch bag).

A dweam within a dweam

The lovely Keri and I went to see Inception tonight. It was pretty cool! I loved the anti-gravity fight scene! How in the world do people come up with these stories? Thank God for artistic souls! I truly appreciate all those talented men and women.

Women never seem to stay with Leo in movies. We were trying to think of a list of Leo's lucky ladies and which ones survived to be with him at the end of the flick. Can you name any? We remembered that Rose survived, but alas, Leo was dead. Maybe I just haven't seen enough Leo flicks. I remember when my bestie was in love with him and had posters taped all over her wall. Oh, to be a 5th grader in love!

Love is a battlefield, so the great philosopher Pat Benatar tells us. I don't think love between me and my true love is a battle, I think that's pretty easy! Doogie is so easy to love! Same with my kittens! And my family (excluding the ingrates) and friends! I think the real battle is finding the love for yourself. Finding within yourself love and confidence that enables you to reach your goals, to not worry about what others think, to make yourself happy! I think that's the true battlefield. In the past, I have struggled with this, but I'm pretty good where I'm at now. Kickin' butt and takin' names, as they say, and always smiling!

Lost in Lost (spoiler alert!)

People, I am addicted to Lost. I started watching the series this weekend. Clare has just been kidnapped, and Jack just beat the tar out of Charlie and brought him back to life. Goodness. This show is intense! Every stinking episode ends with a cliffhanger! How did you guys watch it on tv and suffer a full week's wait before the next saga? It's one episode right after another for me. I have abandoned all housework, books, etc. for Sawyer, Jack, Kate, and the gang, particularly Sawyer and Jack. I hope this show continues to be good throughout, unlike so many I've started and couldn't finish (or am struggling to keep up with) (i.e., 24, Bones, okay..so I can only think of these 2 right now). Maybe it'll be a classic like Sex and the City or Gilmore Girls! How I love those shows!


"Show me, show me, show me how you do that trick. The one that makes me scream she says!" The Cure rules! Did you know that Doug went to a concert with The Pixies and The Cure and left when The Cure came on stage. How dare you, Doug! Once, Lucinda was Robert Smith for Halloween. It was hilariously rock-n-roll. I can't recall what I was that year. Maybe it was the time I was the Red Power Ranger or maybe it was when I was an elf. Do you remember? Have I told you lately that I'm excited for Halloween? Glorious, ghoulish Halloween! Edward the Vampire is ready to emerge from the garage and go back to his place on the front porch. Doug's ready to whip out that damn Wolfman mask. Dacian's ready to....be a lame variation of what he was last year. And I'm ready to don my Wonder Woman costume and kick some villain bootay! I think, too, Carmen San Diego will be here, and maybe Princess Peach! Killer!

Flashy likes to snuggle

Big Bro and lil bro.

It will be mine, oh yes, it will be mine!

This weekend has been very productive. We tiled the back room! Finally, we are rid of that nasty carpet. It looks so wonderful! Now, we just have to decide what color to paint the walls, how to fix that nasty spot behind where the radiator used to sit, and how to build the cat tunnel to the basement. I'll leave the last 2 up to Doug and move to picking out paint. I am thinking beige and red. Maybe an accent wall of red, and the rest beige. All beige would be too boring, and all red would be too wild. I think a combination of the 2 would be a good way to go.


Going to Ikea is always an adventure. Today, Doogie and I went, and we found so much! Curtains! Shelves! Stuffed mice for Yoshi! I also found a table that I will purchase, hopefully before Christmas. It is beautiful and huge; it will fit up to 14 people! I plan on preparing a wonderful Christmas dinner, and it would be lovely to have something to eat upon. Would you like to come to my Christmas dinner? Thus far, we only have 4 attendees. We would love your company!

The Lumpus Cats

The Lumpous Cats, not to be confused with the Bumpus hounds, is the name Doogie has given our gaggle of kittens. They are lumpy behemoths, aren't they? Even Flashy is packing on the poundage. I remember when I got each of my babies. First, Mr. Niles. Got him at PetSmart. I saw him in his cage. Beautiful little gray kitty. He stuck his paw out for me to hold. Love at first sight. Second came BC. Someone was so wretched that they abandoned the sweet little goomer in an apartment building. He had been without food for a couple of weeks when Doogie found him. Doogie knew that I would love him instantly, and he was right. Next came the biggest beast of them all, Yoshipotamus. I adopted Yosh from my pal, Eller. Her kitty procreated with her roommate's kitty and soon there was a litter of kittens that Eller could not care for alone. Doug wanted to adopt the yellow kitten, but I knew Yoshi had to be ours. Lastly came Flashy. Now, it was under grave circumstances that he came into our world. His brother, BC had decided to be a rebel and ran away from his mommy and daddy. He had been missing for 2 weeks, and Doug finally decided to fill the void with a new cat. Of course, as soon as we adopted Flash, BC came back home. Now it is 4 Lumpus cats, Doogie, and I.

I wish I could erase all the bad memories and ingrain in my psyche only the fondest memories. ("Now we will share a lifetime of the fondest memories, by the Lake of Anawana set in the old pine trees!")
Erase: Every moment in my life that was ruined by Unc's, Darb's, or any other worthless family member's presence.
Retain: Junk Day on Juniper Street in Mrs. Barnett's 2nd grade class. I bartered with a penguin puppet and got myself some Nutter Butters (see, even as a child I chose food over all else).
Erase: 1992 Duke vs. UK Christian Laettner shot
Retain: First time I stepped inside Rupp Arena for baaaaaaaaasketball action
Erase: September 17, 1992
Retain: July 9, 1992
Erase: Bruising Doug's chestical
Retain: Every moment spent with my true love
Erase: Chewbacca being eaten by Jack
Retain: BC looking like a model, wind blowing through his fur, sitting on the back porch

The more you know...

Today at lunch we were informed that the boy scouts are gay. Were you aware of this? We weren't either, but evidently everybody knows it. Perhaps there is some truth to canteen boy? Or maybe people are just goofballs! Never a dull lunch at the Pace. We laugh so much and probably share too much!



Much has been said about the love shared between dogs and humans. The stinky things are even referred to as "man's best friend." But I'm here to tell you folks that cats are just as loyal and loving. My little Flash Gordon adores me, and I adore him! He sleeps with me every night (and I snuggle him like a little teddy bear [should I really be writing this shit]). Tonight, he tried to save me! I was in the basement doing laundry, and he was upstairs staring through the hole (the future cat tunnel to the basement). He couldn't figure out why I was so far from him nor how to get me back up to the first floor. It was pretty cute to look up and see his little head poking over the opening. Now, would a dog do that? No, they'd just stand up there and bark or pee or poop down the hole. Stupid dogs. I really am a crazy cat lady.



Ladies and gents! Boys and girls! We've had our first fall stuff sighting! I received a text around 6 o'clock tonight from Miss Tasha B stating that Yankee Candle has Halloween decor out! Yes!!! Now, if only the 95 degree weather would evaporate (we also learned this week, not at lunch, but at breakfast, that's it's better to wish evaporation upon things rather than death) and fall would blissfully sweep away all the humidity and misery, life would be grand-er, for, let's be honest here, life is pretty grand now, despite the heat.

Sign says, "Stay away fools, cause love rules at the lo-o-ove shack!"

I want to go to Italy. I want to go to Italy and I want to go to Paris. I am currently reading Eat, Pray, Love, and Elizabeth Gilbert is making Italy sound more enticing by the page. She writes about what I'm interested in doing while visiting that country--eating! I am thoroughly enjoying this read, and I think you'd like it, too. So, pick it up, and maybe we'll both be finished reading it by the time it hits the dollar theater ($1.75 movie on Tuesday nights)!



Nights always pass so quickly when you get home from work. It doesn't seem like I've been home for 5 hours. As soon as I got home this evening, I hit the treadmill. I am so out of shape. I thought I was going to die just on my first mile. I could run no more than that. I need to get with it if I want to look like Wonder Woman. I have a sad feeling that I'm just going to be a short, chubby version of WW. Oh well, works for me. Are you coming to the Halloween party? It's superhero themed! Be thinking of your costume (or coshtume, in Doogie speak).

Speaking of Eat, Pray, Love, here's a quote from the book that I underlined last night. It is Giovanni speaking to Liz when they are teaching each other Italian/English.

"Liz, you must be very polite with yourself when you are learning something new."

I really appreciate this line. I think I'll tuck it away in my pocket for future use. I sometimes get down on myself for not picking something up quickly. This reminds me that learning something new is a challenge, and I shouldn't expect to get it in a snap.

Battle cries

Staring at a blank screen...flash, flash, flash goes the cursor. Annoying little thing. Another Flash is laying oh so sweetly at the foot of the bed next to his bad paint job brother, BC. Significantly less annoying. Not annoying. Well, until 6 o'clock rolls around, and someone wants food. Then, highly annoying. Two other brothers are currently in the heat of battle. Vicious beasts fighting to the death, and all you can hear is kitty battle cries, "MEEEOW," and the little bells on their collars jingling. My little family is so funny.

Funny how time flies when you are browsing movies to stream on Netflix. Not an exciting way to spend an evening, yet, that's what I've done. I've added a few classics to my queue, por ejemplo, Puppet Masters! I have been on a scary movie kick lately. Perhaps I think the more scary movies I watch, the quicker fall and Halloween will get here? I know I must be driving everyone batty (bats! Halloween!) with my non-stop wishing for fall's arrival. I'm truly getting on my own nerves. Is that possible? Everyday I hope for cooler weather. Sometimes, I pretend that it's not really hot outside, it's sunny, but the weather is cool. But alas, not having central air kills that daydream. It's summer. It's hot. It's miserable. And for the next 10 days, the temperature will range from 85 to 94.

Four stretches. Four pathetic little stretches. That's all I know how to do. Tonight, I decided that I was tired of being as flexible (or inflexible) as a tree trunk, and would do some stretches in the floor in attempts to wake up my muscles. Well, I spent most of the time down there on the hardwood petting Mr. Niles. I did 4 stretches total--that's all I remember from my time as an athlete (a 5th grader on the Robinson Bluejays basketball team)...probably the last time I stretched.

Mmm chocolate cupcake!

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Like father like son

Yoshi has a beard! Say what?!

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Whatcha gonna do about it? Girl, whatcha gonna do?

Okay, so Julie of Julie and Julia fame is way better than me. I pledged to cook one thing from my cookbook each night and blog about it (did I really commit to that, or did I just commit to that sorta thing). Well, she must've been rich with a lot of extra time on her hands, because I just can't bake/cook something new every night. However, I did manage to prepare 2 recipes from the future cookbook as promised for the cookout Saturday night. I did not make the Calico bean salad. I made Granny Cake and Candy Apple Salad! Both were a hit.

Granny cake

Ingredients:
Cake:
2 cups self-rising flour
1 1/2 cups sugar
2 eggs
1 can crushed pineapple in heavy syrup

Topping:
1 cup brown sugar
1 cup chopped pecans

Icing:
1 stick butter
1 can Eagle brand sweetened milk
1 tsp. vanilla

View full recipe

Mix together cake ingredients and pour into greased and floured 9 X 13 pan. Mix topping ingredients and sprinkle over cake mixture. Bake at 350 for 30 minutes. For the icing, melt together ingredients; stir until completely mixed and pour over cake. Let set.

Doug says, "Don't ever make that cake again. It is too good!"

Candy Apple Salad

Ingredients:
2 Red Delicious Apples
2 Granny Smith Apples
2 Milky Way bars
2 (8 oz.) packages cream cheese
1/2 cup sugar
16 oz. cool whip
1 cup chopped nuts

Directions:
Dice apples and Milky Ways in small pieces and place in large bowl. In another bowl, mix cream cheese and sugar until smooth; add Cool Whip and mix until well blended. Toss with apples and candy bars and chopped nuts.

Is it nuts to be shopping for Christmas already? I think not! Why, I've already been jamming to the Rat Pack Christmas and Alley Cat's Christmas Jams mixed tape. I love it! When's it gonna be fall??? I wonder if Doogie would make me an Alley Cat's Halloween Jams mixed tape? I bet he would! Wouldn't you, Doug? The Monster Mash! Ballroom Blitz! I Put a Spell on You! The Addams Family! Funny Farm! Tainted Love! Welcome to my Nightmare! Oh, how I love the fall!! Look at the cute purple kitty dancing with the little Wolfman. Reminds me of my kitty and Wolfman.

Let me count the ways

You know how I know Doug loves me? If I holler at him, he comes to me, even if he's in the middle of a D&D run.

You know how I know Doug loves me? A year and some change ago, he blew off D&D night to propose to me.

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Up for discussion

What should I blog about? Doogie is getting tired of me complaining about my beastly physique, so I must find a new topic. Definitely related, but not so self-destructive, the glory of food! I think I will blog about the new recipes I am gathering for my cookbook. I've been collecting recipes from family members and friends for a few weeks now, and I have around 70. I will do a Julie and Julia inspired series of blogs on each new recipe I try. Tomorrow I will begin. I will, of course, document in photographs the fruits of my labor. I'll be making Calico Beans (recipe compliments of Mary Ann) and Granny Cake (compliments of Aunt Kathy). Recipe will accompany photograph.

Zola's

I ate the whole flippin' thing, dude.

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My little bro...

...is going to college. Yep, I about fainted when I heard that one! He'll be going to Hazard Community College with Codar and Curtis. Good for him! I hope he takes it seriously and that it does some good for him. We shall see. Why are little brothers so much trouble?

Troublesome Creek is a good fishing hole, according to my little brother. When my Pap was sick, Aunt Kathy was trying to get him to eat something, anything. She said, "Dad, what about stopping at McDonald's and getting a fish sandwich?" She stopped and got him the sandwich. When Mommaw was feeding it to him, he said, "You reckon they caught this out of Troublesome?" Even when sick he was a jokester. : ) Little Obi Wan, Pap's best friend forever, is sick. Mom said that Obi's daughter asked Obi, "How is it going, dad?" and he replied, "Good. Me and Forrest just got out of physical therapy." Sad, but sweet. He's dreaming about Pap. I hope someday when I'm dead and gone, maybe ole Jenna or Eller will dream about me. Best friends even in dreamworld.

FA

Fatties Anonymous...it's like AA but for fat kids. Instead of talking about how long we've been without booze, we'd gather to talk about how long it's been since we've downed a poptart or had a double-dip of UDF chocolate chip ice cream. That would be such a sad lot. Poor bastards. Poor, hungry, bastards. I'd be their leader.

Carnivore

Well, it's been a great run, but I think I am going to call it quits on the vegetarian experiment. I've been thinking about it for the past couple of weeks, and finally decided today (though, I have yet to eat meat). It was all that talk about meatloaf today. Mmm, meatloaf is so good! How I miss beef and pork! Lasagna! Cheeseburgers! Spaghetti with meatballs! Meatsauce! Hotdogs! Bacon, mmm! Sausage! I have to go back to that glorious, carnivorous lifestyle of yore. I will ease in gently, as not to destroy my digestive system, but little by little, I shall return to eating bacon cheeseburgers like it's my job! Mmm cheeseburgers.

Cheeseburgers at Zola's on Friday, if you're interested. Zola's burgers were ranked #24 among Cincinnati's top 40 burgers. Are you ready to go face-to-face with a dead cow? Full-on meatdom. A wise man once sang....

"Tried to amend my carnivorous habits
Made it nearly 70 days
Losin' weight without speed, eatin' sunflower seeds
Drinkin' lots of carrot juice and soakin' up rays

But at night I'd had these wonderful dreams
Some kind of sensuous treat
Not zucchini, fettucini, or Bulgar wheat
But a big warm bun and a huge hunk of meat

Cheeseburger in paradise (paradise)
Heaven on earth with an onion slice (paradise)
Not too particular not too precise (paradise)
I'm just a cheeseburger in paradise"

They're all gonna laugh at you!

They're all gonna laugh at me because I am a fatso. This morning, my dress did not fit. Depression. So, I have started a new diet/exercise regimen. From now on, I shall use the stairs at work and I will refrain from eating chips. I need to lose weight in order to not be a lard ass and to look like Super Woman for Halloween, not a beached whale.








Well, I made my potato soup tonight. It was awesome!!

Ingredients:
3 potatoes, cubed
1 (5.5 ounce) package au gratin instant potato mix
1 (10.5 ounce) can chicken broth
1 1/2 cups water
1 cup heavy cream
Some velveeta and American cheese (to taste)

Directions:
In a large saucepan or pot, combine potatoes, au gratin potato mix, chicken broth and water. Add more water to cover if necessary. Cook over medium heat, stirring occasionally, until potatoes are tender, about 40 minutes. Stir in cream and heat through. Serve.

Serve Jesus and serve your taste buds! I also made my Baptist Pie tonight. Dang! It tastes heavenly!

Ingredients:
1 can Eagle brand sweetened milk
1 can mandarin oranges, drained
1 can crushed pineapples, drained
1/4 cup lemon juice
1 8 oz container cool whip
1 cup pecans, chopped
2 graham cracker crusts

Directions:
Mix mandarin oranges, pineapples, and Eagle brand milk. Add lemon juice. Stir in pecans and cool whip. Spread in pie crusts. Refrigerate. Chill 4 hours.


Hours of complaining about being fat and here I cooked these calorie- and fat-ridden foods. But! But! I did take a walk! I walked around Wallace Woods, and Doogie joined me! He even bought me a new iPod shuffle to take on future walks. It's green and super cool. Oh, and I forgot what my running shoes looked like! They are cute! I am going to be stylin' and profilin' walking around WW. I wonder if I should take some cat treats in my pocket to feed to the precious kittens in the woods. Maybe I should.